Seamus the Magician, Take 1

3/3/05

"I think there's something under your nose!" I guffawed and slapped my knee.

"Uh...that's not funny," a young gentleman beside me replied.

"But there is, there is!" He just couldn't see it.

"There is what?"

"There is!" My, he is slow.

"Whose nose?"

"Why, yours!"

"My what?"

"Your nose!" The young man was clearly not convinced, so I pulled out a small mirror and showed him his nose.

"See?" I shouted. I flicked his nose with a finger. "A mouth!" and I continued my laughter.

The man was not impressed. He drew back, nose stuck up in the air in defiance, twirled his cloak at me, turned around, and strode off.

I chuckled, picked up my briefcase, and tapped my heels together. One, two, three...

And everything suddenly turned monochrome; oh no! It was windy. I shook hair out of my face, and looked at my watch. I pushed a button, and accidentally turned everything flat.

Have you ever been turned 2-D? Not a pleasant experience. You are being bent, and stretched, and squashed all at once, and you can't breathe for a few seconds, which makes you panic. That's why I try not to do it too often. But as I said, this was an accident.

2-D and colourless. Not the best way to be. As soon as the flattening process was over, I shook out my newly-formed limbs, and looked around me. I was not in Kansas, as I had first thought. But where was I?